My experience of Lletz procedure - six months on

 It was a cold mid-January day and I was at the office working as usual. Suddenly the phone rings. It was a private number. I didn't want to answer at first but thought it might be important so picked up the phone. It was the doctor calling about my most recent smear test..

As it turned out the smear had detected abnormal cells on my cervix. This sent me in to panic at first as my immediate thought was 'cancer'. However the doctor re-assured me that they most likely just needed to do some more tests and would then send me home without doing any further procedures to remove the cells. They booked me in for a hospital appointment the following week. 

I turned up at hospital feeling quite relaxed about it all. However that was relatively short-lived as when they did the first test (called Colposcopy) it became clear that the abnormal cells were severe. It was recommended to do a procedure called Lletz which involves using a thin heated wire loop with an electric current to remove the abnormal cells. These are then sent off to a lab for further examination. 

The doctor was able to perform the procedure straight away (which I was really grateful for especially in the middle of a pandemic). I got told it was a minor procedure without any severe side-effects, even training the next day should be fine!

I took the rest of the day off work and training but was determined to get back in to it the next day. But when I woke up it felt like I'd been hit by about 10 buses. I was exhausted. The next three weeks waiting for the lab results were proven to be some of the toughest of my life. I took two weeks off work and training which the body needed to recover. But mentally I was not in a good place. I could barely speak to anyone because I felt so anxious about the results. Can't thank the people who supported my during this time enough. 

When the results finally came I was thrilled to find out that all the abnormal cells had been removed. It turned out the cells were cancerous but the procedure was successful and no further treatment deemed necessary. Finally I could go back to normal life again!

However now six months later I can say that I'm suffering from side-effects of the Lletz which have greatly impacted my life. About two weeks before my period I have horrible episodes of PMS with head aches, bloating and cramps sometimes so bad I can't even sit. These are not constant but come and go in waves. I also lose my appetite for about a week and struggle to function normally. I seem to get saddle sores more easily on the bike and sometimes my cervix just hurts without me really knowing why. 

I've seen my doctor a few times without much luck but my GP is in the process of booking an internal examination which I hope will give me answers. I do believe though that when a crucial part of your body is cut off it takes a long time to repair itself. I've still got hope that this won't be forever and eventually I'll find a solution to my ongoing problems. 

If you've made it this far thanks for reading my story. I'm hoping that sharing it will help other women in the same situation and also highlight the importance of more research being done in this area so that in the future women going through this can get the treatment they need.  

Gabby 

Swedish Elite Cycling Nationals – mixed emotions and never giving up

I very rarely blog these days but never has a bike race left me so exhausted, exhilarated, emotional, sad, happy, confused (the list goes on..) etc. All the preparation that went in to it pre-race , the immense suffering during and the sense of relief, yet satisfaction as well as disappointment after. I’m aware that this blog post is not going to be focused at all and that I’ll be going off on a tangent on several occasions. But I hope it will give people an idea about how bike racing can on one hand make you feel like you’re on cloud nine and on the other hand put you in a very dark place.

It wasn’t long after the Swedish Nationals course for 2018 was announced that I decided to make it my big target race of the season. 123km with 2000m of climbing, no very technical sections. Sounded like a dream for a climber who hates tight corners, gravel and descending..The Nationals are always super hard as you are up against girls that have been to the Olympics, World Championships and race the women’s world tour. Last year I came 13^th and was in a group sprinting for 9^th place so I definitely thought I could nail a top 10 this year as the course suited me better.

Every time I did a training session since the start of the year I thought about the Nationals and how I was going to play my cards to get that top 10. Looking back at races I had done earlier in the season I knew my form was better than ever and that I had the potential to achieve my goal. I sacrificed other races for more training opportunities and really put everything in to preparing for this particular race. It consumed so much of my thoughts. Looking back I feel like I couldn’t have done anything differently.

Before I knew it there was only a week left until race day. My legs were feeling good and I reduced my training in the final run-up to the race. I had traveled down to the race location two days before the event which enabled me to settle in and do a course recce with my dad. Even if I was going at an easy pace I felt fantastic and fired up for what was about to come. Was looking forward to doing some damage on the climb!!

Race day, eek!! How is it happening already?! I was really nervous but managed to stay calm and focused as we all assembled at the start line. The first 2k were neutralized and shortly after the flag dropped my pedals seized up…OMG WHAT’S GOING ON?!?! A slight moment of panic, but deep breath…the bunch aren’t moving that fast..you can get it sorted and chase back on. Turns out the chain had just ended up in a weird angle so it was a relatively quick fix..Rode as hard as I could and got back on after about 10mins. Felt like I had burnt many matches already, and the race had only just started!!

As we approached the main climb, 2km with an avg gradient of 8 %, for the second time (we had to do it 8 times, brutal!!!) I got myself in a good position and was waiting for the pros to attack. One of the big favourites Emilia Fahlin put in an insanely strong dig which I couldn’t match at all. Was suffering like never before but quite a lot of people passed me and a lead group of about 15 people formed. I felt like I wanted to cry when I saw them disappear in to the distance as I knew that any hopes of getting a top 10 were pretty much gone. I was left in the main bunch of 30+ people. Really felt like I wanted to throw in the towel at this point but then it hit me that hey we still have 3.5hrs of racing to do and a lot can happen during that time. I always tell people to try and finish the race if they can, so I carried on.

The climb was really attritional and on lap 4 I realised (a bit to my delight..) that the group had been massively reduced to just four of us. We quickly decided to work together as this was the best way to ensure we’d all finish in the top 20 and prevent the chasing bunch behind from catching us. Ok so top 10 wasn’t happening..but top 20 at elite nationals in a top class field is still not too shabby right?! At this point the tide had turned.. I was no longer disappointed but motivated about the four of us working really well together. We also managed to catch two girls that had been dropped from the group in front. We WERE going to do this!!!!

On every lap spectators kept shouting at us that the front group was getting smaller and smaller as people were pulling out. I was totally exhausted when we still had two laps to go but all the cheering really helped me to keep going. You guys were absolute superstars!!! On the last lap I heard someone screaming that there were only 10 in front..What?! So we’re racing for 11^th place now?! Omg this is amazing!! I can still get a top 15..

The last climb was a drag and it felt like we crawled up it..omg the pain is almost over..it felt like we had been racing for so long and at that point I started thinking about all the tasty food I was going to eat post-race. 3km to go…a girl in our group goes off the front and I don’t have the legs to follow..another girl does the same..but I’m dead..Four of us sprint it out for 13^th-16^th place..I finish 15^th (inches off 13^th and 14^th). After I cross the line I don’t know what to think. The initial reaction is disappointment that I didn’t get the result I initially wanted. But then I shed a tear of joy and felt so pleased that I kept fighting. After the first lap I thought I was going to finish much lower than 15^th. So many variables are uncertain in a bike race and it just goes to show what you can achieve by not giving up even if things don’t go to plan. I will never ever forget this battle!! 

I now have a more realistic view of what level I need to be at in order to achieve a top 10 at Nationals..I’m telling ya it aint easy!! But it is something I’ll keep striving towards..As my good friend Michelle Vella Wood said; ‘you focused too much on the outcome of the race rather than the process’. Ok so I didn’t get the result I initially wanted, but I’m bloody happy with the whole process and how this season has gone so far!! Results on paper never tell the whole story.

The past three days since the race I’ve felt so emotionally and physically drained. Have done no exercise whatsoever, even a walk to the shop yesterday seemed like a mammoth effort! I’ve cried a few times. It has been a tough year of juggling racing on a high level with trying to finish my ACCA accountancy qualification. It was so nice to just let everything go for a few days..

Back in the UK now and ready to take on the second half of the season…and start the intense studying for my next set of exams!!

Until next time!

Gabby

How I use DOMSEaseOil to aid my training and what it means to be sports ambassador of the product

As usual the off-season seems to have flown by. Can't believe it's March already which means the racing has kick-started! I did my first race of the season at the Pimbo industrial estate (just outside Liverpool) two weeks ago. This was also my first outing with my new team, Sunsport Velo WRT. I think we all agreed that it was one of the grimmest days we've ever experienced on the bike; 2 degrees, pouring rain and many hypothermic riders at the finish line..Despite the horrible conditions the team rode very well. Our highest finisher was Lizzy Banks who managed a spectacular 5th place in a bunch sprint. Overall there were lots of positives to extract from the team's performance which we are hoping to build on in our upcoming races.

 Like many athletes I suffer from tired and heavy legs from training at times. There's a wide variety of oils which seek to aid with post-exercise recovery and prevent the 'dead legs' feeling. However, I've always struggled to find a product suitable to me. I have very sensitive skin and most oils I've tried have given me a rash or intense itching. When it was announced that our team had a new oil sponsor on board, DOMSEaseOil, I was intrigued. Would it work for me?! So I gave it a go. And guess what..No itching, no red skin..But the best thing was I could finally say good bye to heavy legs! I got very excited and decided to channel my positive energy in to producing a little promo video for DOMSEaseOil. https://www.facebook.com/gabriella.nordin.5/videos/vb.676302236/10154016993752237/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab

A few weeks after the video was released on social media DOMSEaseOil contacted me and asked if I wanted to be sports ambassador for the product. I was honored and thrilled! This involves regularly promoting and advertising their various oil blends through videos, photos and testimonials. In return I get sponsored with as much oil as I need. I will also be writing regular updates about how I use DOMSEaseOil in my training and racing for optimal recovery. I've used their products on a daily basis for 2.5 months now and have noticed the following positive effects;

- Improved flexibility in glutes and hamstrings
- Faster recovery from hard workouts
- Feeling more relaxed physically and mentally
- Ease of tight muscles and stiff joints

Check out the DOMSEaseOil website for more info about this beautiful product! www.domseaseoil.co.uk

Furthermore, I have decided to hand in my notice at work to cycle full-time which I'm really excited about. As of next Thursday I'll be able to dedicate my time fully to cycling, eating and sleeping. I'm not getting any younger..and don't want to look back on my life with any regrets :D

Until next time!

Gabby

About time I spilled the beans..

I don't blog very often. But this post is about something very close to my heart which has shaped my years as a road racing cyclist..

I started racing a bit sporadically in 2012 and did my first full season in 2013. When I was a novice cyclist one thing my fellow training partners noticed was that I struggled with group riding etiquette. 'Gabriella is very strong but doesn't seem to grasp riding in a group' and 'She doesn't always point out potholes' were typical comments made. I had no idea why I was finding riding in a group so difficult when others seemed to pick it up very quickly. It was pretty disheartening. I loved bike racing but my future in the sport looked uncertain unless I was able to learn the ins and outs of group riding.

The breaking point came on a training ride in 2013 when I wanted to move up in the group and someone shouted 'I'm on your right!' to which I responded 'Sorry it took a while for me to see you!'. Then it hit me. It was my eyesight. I was born with a condition called Iris Coloboma in my right eye which means you have a hole in the structure of your iris, causing the pupil to become deformed (my close friends and family have seen that I've got a 'cat eye'). I'm nearly blind in the affected eye and extremely sensitive to sunlight. Having only one functional eye also impacts on my depth perception and peripheral vision.

So was I going to let this end my time as a road racing cyclist? Believe me I had some serious doubts (still do at times) but I decided to get in touch with an eye specialist in Glasgow, where I was living at the time, to discuss my issues. I'm really glad I did as got some useful advice on how to approach bunch riding. I gradually started noticing improvements. One typical thing I do is ride as far to the right as I can which means I've got all the action happening on my left side (where I can actually see what's going on!). Another habit I have is to turn my head just a little bit more than what feels comfortable before moving up in the bunch to make sure nobody is on my right.

I may not have progressed as quickly as many other cyclists in road racing but given my circumstances I can honestly say that I've achieved more than I ever thought was possible when I bought my first road bike. I have many weaknesses; I struggle with corners and bunch sprints because I'm always thinking about my eyesight first which causes delays in how I respond to what is happening in the race. Sometimes I have to sit in the wind and waste energy because it's where I can see the best (Yes I've been called an idiot a few times for doing this..).

For many years I wanted to keep this quiet due to fear of what people would think. Fear to be labelled as 'the blind girl'. But it is something so significant to my cycling which has evoked many emotions. I've had top 10s and 15s in UK national level races, came 2nd in three stages at tour of Malta this year. Last weekend I finished a National B men's race in the same bunch as top UK men's teams like Pedal Heaven and NFTO. I've also had days when I wanted to hang up my wheels because of my eyesight. But I'm a much more confident person and cyclist than I was four years ago. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't do something because you've got what they consider a 'handicap'. There is no reason at all why I should keep my eye problems a secret as they have been with me my whole life and helped shape the person and cyclist I am today.

Read more about my condition here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coloboma

Thanks for reading guys, hopefully see you on the road soon! :)

Gabby Nordin